Deliver a great toast or roast for any occasion! What do weddings, retirements, birthdays, honorariums, and anniversaries  have in common? They all have friends, colleagues, or family members making toasts. I’ve done over a thousand of them – here’s how.

1.FIRST, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TOAST AND A ROAST?

A toast is usually a warm tribute speech that showcases the best qualities of the honoree, often blended with some light humor. A roast is basically the complete opposite. It typically contains 99% comedy that makes fun of the lesser qualities of the honoree. Some toasts contain roast material and some roasts contain toast material. Most have a bit of both. Finding the right balance will help you deliver a great toast or roast for any occasion.

2. WRITING A TOAST/ROAST

Unless you have considerable public speaking experience, keep it short. Even 5 minutes can seem like an eternity if you’re struggling. 2 minutes – not so much.Have a strong opener. People usually decide if they like your toast within about 20 or 30 seconds. Try to find something in the situation to joke about. Introduce yourself and explain how you know the honoree. If you can make fun of the venue, the weather, or the travel, do so. Alternatively, self-deprecating humor can also ingratiate you with the crowd. Rule of thumb: if we can tease ourselves, it makes it more acceptable to tease others.

3.  AUDIENCE DEMOGRAPHICS

I’ve roasted police, union leaders, bank presidents, and billionaire CEOs. Each group has different rules. When I did a comedic toast for a woman’s 85th birthday, my humor was soft, warm and gentle. When I did a roast for a retiring CPA partner known for busting chops, my jokes obviously had more bite. (But were still PG 13)

Gather information about the guest of honor. Begin by talking to their friends and family about their career, hobbies, and overall personality. From this, free-write as many ideas as you can. Joke writing is like gold mining. Sift through the raw material (ideas) and look for anything that seems shiny. (funny) When you have enough ideas, write 10 punchlines for each. Then, pick the best of these and write even more. Typically, punchlines should hit in 25 words or less. And, the funniest part should be at the end of each sentence. Look for jokes that might fit together in specific categories. (cheap, loud, quiet, etc) Try to link them up.

Ask if they want your toast/roast to be gentle, medium, or risqué. Then, review your material with someone close to the honoree that you trust. Test it on friends and relatives to find out what works and what needs to be altered or cut. You want laughs without a bad aftertaste. So, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Unless it’s a roast roast, avoid bringing up anything that could ambush the honoree in front of family members or elderly relatives. If there are kids in the audience, keep it PG. If you refer to a particular quirk about the honoree, make sure most of the audience knows about it. Also, avoid superlatives, cliches and being overly sappy. Create material that is in your own voice.

4.  REWRITING

I rewrite my material 10-15 times minimum. This enables me to cut the good jokes to their core and upgrade or eliminate the mediocre ones. I almost always also come up with new jokes or additional taglines during this process. These tips will all help you deliver a great toast or roast for any occasion.

5.  WHAT MAKES ME AN EXPERT?

I’ve performed customized toasts/roasts for some of the biggest CEOs in the country. I’ve also done them for birthdays, anniversaries, honorariums, and more.

6.THE FAKE TOASTER

At most events, I am introduced as friend, colleague or even someone presenting an award to the guest of honor. So, when everyone is expecting a serious tribute, I surprise them with a personalized “toast.”

7.THE HILARIOUS ULTIMATE TRIBUTE VIDEO

I also create “This is Your Life Videos.” This is a movie about someone’s life or history of a company or other organization. And it’s got all the details right, but it’s funny. So, one moment your friends, family, or co-workers are touched by emotion, and the next, they’re laughing hysterically. There’s a warm glow in the room. This is no ordinary generic video collage. This is a handcrafted piece of art that everyone will remember for a long time to come.