As a medical professional and government health care advisor, I’d like to reassure you all that we have everything under control. And by under control, I mean, we are setting up the test tubes and ordering pizza. It looks like it’s going to be a long night. And by night, I mean spring, summer and possibly fall.
I’m too old for this.
There are some who might think that being in the eye of the storm during a national emergency is fun and exciting. You know, like when the TV weather people are secretly gleeful while terrifying us during a hurricane or tornado. And sure, there’s an element of ego gratification knowing that the entire nation is listening to my every word. But with immense power come immense responsibility. And with immense responsibility come extraordinary pressure, fraying nerves, and daily psychiatric help, so it’s not all fun and games.
Plus, this is the busiest I’ve ever been in my life. It’s like 10 times worse then what tax season must be like for an accountant. Only, this isn’t going to be over by April 15th. I literally have lines of people around the block to my office like it’s a Springsteen concert. In fact, earlier today, I actually had Springsteen in my office. Because I let him cut ahead in return for free tickets to his next show. (He’s clean by the way) Tomorrow, Lady Gaga’s coming in with the same deal. And next week, I got Kanye. Only I told him to keep his tickets to himself cause I don’t like his music.
The Freedman Corona Report is coming soon.
Most importantly, I am currently working on a critical report on the Corona virus for the CDC, otherwise known as the Center for Dying Cruise lines and purell-ifcation of America. This report will include the latest medical updates on the virus, preventive measures, separating rumor from fact, and unique coping methods for passing the time.
I will be breaking this report up into individual tips which will be sent out weekly or biweekly to achieve the maximum saturation to the population to help save lives, as well as to increase the number of hits on my website. Either way, we all benefit.
Please stay tuned.